August 2009

August 4, 2009
In the quiet of the day I find myself alone with Paul, a circumstance that we will soon call ordinary instead of unusual. With growing children it implies lifestyle changes. They individually have lives of their own, keeping themselves busy with work or friends, and significant others. This is why Paul and I are left to keep one another company, with Dixie the kitty and Jake, the most wonderful dog ever. I am not complaining...just observing, looking at how the cycle of life comes around. We teach our kids how to be responsible, to take care of themselves, anxiously awaiting how they’ll grow up, and then they up and do it. How dare they? Dan and I started off together, and more and more now we are just him and I, together, with the children gone.

Dan mentioned just yesterday how it gave him a sense of pride, a sense of accomplishment I suppose, when he saw Michael, Cassandra, Christina and Daniel all sitting together in a pew at Mass on Sunday. Paul and I were at the end and I too, noticed that when I glanced down for a second and noted how handsome they all looked. It fills us with a peace knowing they have chosen so well for their mates and how God has truly blessed all of us.

Like a thousand red balloons, life is beautiful and fleeting. Our kids grew into young men and a lovely lady in a matter of minutes. It’s odd how the mind works because at times when I just think of Michael, I see him in my mind as four years old in a green and blue striped shirt, playing with a ball in our back yard. There’s a scene in one of my favorite movies, "Frequency," where Jim Caviezal’s mind is going fast forward and all these shots of life flash in his eyes and it stops with him dropping his beer glass, shattering it all over the floor. That’s how it seems to me, just a flash ago they were all barefoot and in Joe’s case, bare chested, breaking a glass door with a wrist rocket, or sleeping four on a bed sharing one room.

About two weeks ago Christina had to write an essay on her toddler years for her Child Development class, a task that led her to looking at her baby book. Even then she was different, phrasing things in a quirky way or looking at life in an offbeat manner. One episode I wrote about was when I was teaching her catechism, and I went on and on about some miracle and spoke eloquent about the revelation and it was quite profound. I was thrilled she was so attentive. When I stopped, she looks at me with those big blue eyes and blurts out, "Sometimes when I think too much I get dizzy."

Christina and Daniel are out for the day, enjoying the little time they have till he leaves for Kansas on Sunday. They are very sweet together, he doing anything to please her and I just see him parting the sea if she needed it done. They’re going to Magic Mountain tomorrow, a place she’s never been, so that’ll be great fun for her. His love for her has made her into a more confident person, not that she needed to feel loved but the love of a man is truly special, one that cannot be furnished by a mom or dad. I would say the same for Michael, so it is interesting that they both are experiencing love in all its glory. I never doubt the innocence of it all too. Naive I am not. I know things happen. But not with my kids. I won’t say it just won’t happen but it won’t. Their fear of God and keeping His commandments will stop them from crossing that line.